MARCH 2025 - Happiness vs Value Driven

Welcome back!

In today’s positive culture we are encouraged to be happy!

Although I practice looking at life positively (glass of water half full) I recognize I must create a balance in life with happiness and the need to leave space for reality and hope.

Whitney Goodman’s book Toxic Positivity – Keeping it real in a world obsessed with being happy suggests instead we should “focus on finding fulfillment by forging your own path and living a life in line with your values”.  She explains with toxic positivity we focus on denying and suppressing emotions.

Whitney’s book offers a guide on "how to balance the right amount of complaining and gratitude, negativity and positivity, empathy and boundaries” which are in line with our values, skills, and dreams. Her model is “Living a Value Driven life” described as:

 “…prioritizing what is important to you and find a path to get there. It makes room for the fact that living by our values doesn’t always mean feeling happy or good, but it is in alignment with who we are and what we want.”

How often do you find yourself looking for the right words to console someone?  Communicating with others during difficult situations can cause unintentional pain.

Whitney provides a comprehensive list of 11 difficult situations and suggestive ways to help positivity from becoming toxic if used improperly during the following  list of topics:

Infertility and Pregnancy loss                                           Career Trouble or Job loss

Grief and loss                                                             Physical Appearance

 Illness and Disability,                                                   After a traumatic Event

Romantic Relationships struggles                                  Pregnancy & Parenting

Family and Family Estrangement                                    Racism

Homophobia,                                                             Sexism

Ableism                                                                     Sizeism

Classism                                                                                   

"….. and other types of prejudice & Mental Health Issues.”

One of Whitney’s suggested communication approach is being “Authentic” during difficult situations. The act of being authentic is when you acknowledge what the other is going through is real and you are not denying their experience, even if you don’t agree. Just showing up and sitting in the moment with them and listening to their concerns shows you are supportive.

I highly recommend this valuable book as it provides “words” and “actions” to make others feel supported in difficult situations.

Looking forward to meeting you over a cup of coffee and conversation!

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HAT - A perfect "Easter Bonnet" to celebrate the beginning of Spring!

A bucket style hat made from material that is a combination of soft grey wool and rabbit fur.

The top of the hat is decorated with a wonderful pink satin band and large bow. The design finishes with a touch of mystery – a pink net in a diamond pattern.